19+ Things I Wish I Put in My Divorce Decree: A Guide To Avoiding Regrets

Going through a divorce can be tough and full of emotions. When you’re ending your marriage, there are important things to think about in your divorce agreement.

Knowing about them and including them in a divorce decree will protect your interests and future. Knowing all about divorce settlements can help you get a fair deal and avoid regrets about what you should have said or included.

A big mistake people often make in divorces is not giving enough attention to their divorce agreement (aka divorce decree). This document should not only talk about splitting up stuff and who takes care of the kids right now. It should also look at long-term things, like who gets retirement money and who pays debts.

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce online, it’s really important to know what you’re doing. This will help make sure the deal you make is good for you in the long run.

Below are 19+ (some of the main items cover multiple things) to consider putting in your divorce decree. Be sure to address the ones relevant to you, no matter how trivial they may seem.

Better to address them upfront than potentially fight about them later.

Crafting A Comprehensive Divorce Decree: A Guide To Avoiding Regrets

In finalizing your divorce decree, address all future co-parenting concerns with specificity. This includes clear custody arrangements and schedules for holidays and special events to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.

1. Ensuring Comprehensive Child Custody Arrangements

Your divorce decree should clearly lay out child custody specifics, both legal and physical, to ensure a stable environment for your children. Address who has the decision-making authority on important matters like healthcare, education, and religion.

Establish a parenting plan that details living arrangements and how you will co-parent.

• Physical Custody:
  • With whom the children will reside primarily
  • Visitation schedules for the non-custodial parent
• Legal Custody:
  • How decisions are made regarding the child’s upbringing
  • Methods for dispute resolution if parents disagree

2. Detailed Plans For Holidays, Birthdays, And Special Occasions

Holidays and special occasions can be a source of conflict, so they require detailed planning in your divorce decree. Determine where your children will spend these days, considering both parents’ desires and traditions.

• Holidays Schedule Example:

  Holiday	Parent A	Parent B
  Thanksgiving	Odd years	Even years
  Christmas Eve	Even years	Odd years
  Child’s Birthday	Morning/Afternoon	Evening/Night

3. Setting Clear Pick-Up And Drop-Off Times For Children

Avoid future disputes by specifying pick-up and drop-off times for your children. This creates a predictable routine, which is essential for their security and well-being.

• Custody Exchange Times:
  • Weekdays: 3:30 PM at school or aftercare
  • Weekends: 10:00 AM at a neutral location

Highlight any deviations for special circumstances, and involve legal guidance to ensure the enforceability of these terms.

Financial Matters: Security And Clarity Post-Divorce

In finalizing your divorce decree, addressing financial matters with precision ensures long-term security and clarity. This section lays out essential financial considerations to incorporate in your divorce decree for peace of mind following the separation.

4. Division Of Assets And Debts

In your divorce decree, explicitly state how retirement accounts, investment portfolios (including stocks and bonds), and bank accounts will be divided.

Include a clear timeline and method for the division, ensuring the use of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) for retirement plans, when applicable.

Detail who is responsible for existing debts, including mortgages and credit card debts, to prevent future financial disputes.

5. Addressing Joint Debts, Future Income, And Tax Liabilities

Your divorce decree must delineate responsibility for joint debts, such as mortgages and student loans. Specify how future income, like upcoming bonuses or royalties, will be handled and shared.

Address tax liabilities and filing status to avoid uncertainties during tax season, with stipulations laid out for claiming dependents.

6. Equitable Division Of Household Items, Airline Miles, And Other Assets

Property division often includes not just tangible items but also intangible assets. Declare the equitable division of household items, airline miles, membership rewards, and similar assets.

Each item or asset category should be listed, along with the party receiving it, to avoid ambiguity.

7. Terms For Spousal And Child Support, Including Future Adjustments

Detail the specifics of spousal support (alimony) and child support, including amounts, duration, and payment schedules.

Include potential triggers for future adjustments, such as cost-of-living increases, changes in income, or educational expenses for children, acknowledging the need for flexibility as circumstances evolve.

8. Life Insurance Provisions To Secure Financial Obligations

Include a clause that mandates maintaining life insurance policies with adequate coverage to secure financial obligations, particularly if children are involved.

Specify beneficiary designations to ensure that spousal or child support commitments are met in the event of untimely death or disability.

Property And Assets: Fair And Forethoughtful Distribution

When navigating a divorce, it’s crucial to address the distribution of property and assets meticulously to ensure a fair settlement. This encompasses all real estate, personal property, and even pets – all which necessitate careful consideration to meet legal standards and personal expectations.

9. Real Estate And Personal Property Considerations

As you approach the distribution of real estate and personal property, remember that marital property is generally subject to division. Non-marital property, which you owned prior to the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance, should, in most cases, remain yours.

Document everything meticulously; this is the cornerstone of fair and forethoughtful division.

10. Decision-Making On The Marital Home And Other Real Estate

For real property such as the marital home, you must decide whether to sell the property and split the proceeds, or if one party will retain the home and possibly buy out the other’s interest.

Take into account mortgage obligations, market conditions, and tax implications. Make sure these decisions are clearly outlined in your divorce decree to avoid future conflicts.

• To stay:
  • Considerations: Buyout costs, refinancing, future value.
  • Action: Obtain appraisal, agree on buyout terms.
• To sell:
  • Considerations: Market conditions, splitting proceeds, outstanding debts.
  • Action: Set terms for listing, sale process, and division of sale proceeds.

11. Distribution Of Personal Property, Including Pets

Personal property, from furniture to jewelry, and even pets, must be divided. Unlike real property, these items often have not only financial but also sentimental value.

Make a comprehensive list of items and agree on who gets what. In the case of pets, consider their welfare and who will be able to provide a suitable home.

• High-Value Items:
  • Prioritize: Identify items of both high monetary and sentimental value.
  • Valuate: Get appraisal for jewelry, art, and collectibles.
• Everyday Items:
  • List: Create an inventory of household items.
  • Negotiate: Decide on who needs what more, and be willing to compromise.
• Pets:
  • Custody: Determine who will take primary responsibility.
  • Care Costs: Agree on ongoing expenses such as vet visits.

Property division can be one of the most contentious aspects of a divorce, and careful planning with these steps can help ensure a more tranquil and equitable process.

Children’s Needs And Responsibilities

When finalizing your divorce decree, addressing the specific needs of your children and the responsibilities of each parent ensures clarity and reduces future conflicts. From school expenses to medical decisions, it’s essential to lay out these terms distinctly.

12. Planning For Children’s Expenses And Activities

Your parenting plan should clearly outline each parent’s financial responsibilities for children’s expenses like education, daily care, and special activities.

Include regular costs, such as school supplies and clothing, and anticipate future expenses, such as college tuition.

• Education: Specify contributions to tuition, books, and other school-related costs.
• Daily Living: Compile recurring costs (food, housing) and split them equitably.
• Special Activities: Address the cost-sharing of camps, sports, and other extracurricular activities.

13. Guidelines For Extracurricular Activities, Medical Expenses, And Major Milestones (E.G., Braces, First Car)

Detail the shared responsibility for extracurricular activities, essential medical expenses, and significant life events. Discuss and agree on contributions to orthodontics such as braces or a milestone purchase like a first car.

• Extracurriculars: Decision criteria for participation, cost-splitting, and transportation.
• Medical Costs: Handle insurance coverage, out-of-pocket expenses, and emergency funds.

14. Decision-Making And Approvals In Child Rearing

Establish a framework for making critical parenting decisions. In your co-parenting strategy, allocate who decides on school choice, religious upbringing, or changes in living arrangements.

Emphasize the need for open communication between you and your ex-spouse to make these decisions effectively.

• Decision-making authority:
  • Education: Who selects schools and educational paths?
  • Religion: How are religious practices decided and shared?

15. Approaches For Medical Decisions And Approval Of Caretakers

Agree upon how you’ll approach medical care, including routine and emergency decisions. Choose how to select and approve caretakers, such as nannies or babysitters, to ensure your children’s safety and well-being.

• Medical Decisions: Define consent processes for medical treatments and elective procedures.
• Caretakers: Set criteria for choosing and changing caretakers, clarifying expectations and standards.

Legal And Administrative Aspects Of Divorce

In divorce, you’ll need to navigate the bureaucratic and legal intricacies with precision. This includes managing post-divorce identity and tax considerations, and ensuring thorough documentation.

16. Addressing Name Changes And Tax Implications

If you choose to revert to your maiden name after the divorce, you’ll need to update your Social Security card, driver’s license, passport, and other official documents.

Consider the tax implications of any name change and make sure to notify the IRS to avoid processing delays with future tax filings.

17. Guidelines On Who Claims Children On Taxes

The right to claim children as dependents on tax returns should be explicitly stated in your divorce decree.

This affects eligibility for child tax credits and can be alternated each year between you and your ex-spouse if agreed upon.

18. Ensuring Clarity In Legal And Administrative Matters

Your divorce decree should explicitly detail how assets and debts are divided, describe specific visitation schedules, and outline support obligations.

Clarity prevents future disputes and confusion. Include explicit instructions on managing life insurance policies to safeguard child support or alimony.

19. Navigating Legal Requirements And Ensuring All Necessary Documentation Is In Place

Ensure you meet your state’s residency requirements for filing a divorce and compile all required documents, such as financial records, marriage certificates, and property deeds.

Keep track of deadlines and maintain copies of all submissions for your records.